Do you feel as if you play second fiddle to their work? Is it left to you to make excuses to the children, to family and friends because they are late or too busy to attend? Do you send the evenings on your own – even when they are in the house? Is your partner too busy or too tired to pay you the attention you need and deserve? Is your life being affected because of the demands of your partner’s work? Do you feel your own sense of self and your confidence are being eroded because they pay more attention to their work? Are you feeling lonely and left out even though you are in a relationship?
The loss of someone you love is always very difficult but out of bereavement comes a golden opportunity to examine your priorities and to re-evaluate the way things are done.
I do hope that 2019 has got off to a flying start! Are you one of those who decided not to make any New Years Resolutions so you didn’t have the pressure of failing to keep them? Did you decide over Christmas that 2019 was going to be the year when you created a great work – life balance? What have you done to change things? Is it working?
Workaholism is no different to the other “….holisms” in that the problem can be very difficult for partners and families to deal with.
Do you feel your life's dream is fulfilled? What gives you the most satisfaction in your life? Is there anything, which would make it more complete?
I am always struck how often we hear about the same theme in several different contexts. I have been amazed at how often the theme of time has come up this week. Several clients have chosen to focus their session on their lack of time and the negative impact this has on their lives this month – no surprise there you might say. Ask most people about their lives and they will tell you that they never have enough time.
Most of us use the New Year as a time to take stock of our lives. The break over Christmas gives us a bit of breathing space between the turkey, mince pies and the round of jollity. Many of us make promises that we convince ourselves we’ll try to keep this time. Those more cynical simply recognize that we will fail, so make the resolution not to make a resolution.
When you think about who you really are- do you love yourself? Do you like the person you are or do you feel that you are in some way wanting?
Whether you are working with your partner, your teen age children or a work colleague the principle is the same. What you say and the way in which it is said, the tone of voice, the words you use and the timing of when things are said all have the capacity to widen the gap between you and the other person to let them off the hook as they can rationalize your nagging as unreasonable, or to make them think.
You Partners of workaholics find yourselves in a very difficult place. For much of the time you are expected to manage on your own whilst your partners are busy with work. As a childless partner it leaves you with great tracts of time waiting for your partner to be available to talk to or to do things with. Having them physically present is no actual indicator of your partner being available to you.