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Volume 06 | April 2007 | Things that drive us

Home | About Us | Contact Us | Courses | Coaching | Partners of Workaholics

Contents


Part 1 - Welcome! [Back to Top]

Dear Recovering Workaholic,

Welcome to this our sixth newsletter for Recovering Workaholics.

Firstly I would like to thank you for signing up for the newsletter which is published on a monthly basis. From next month we hope you will receive it in the first few days of the month.

It has been another busy month for Recovering Workaholics. The information leaflets have been designed and printed. They have been distributed to libraries, HR Departments, Occupational Health Organizations etc.

If you know of anyone who would be interested in receiving some please let me know by contacting us on info@recoveringworkaholics.com

The first three of our CDs are now available via the website and for direct download, but more of that later.

In this issue we will look at the things which drive us in life. Once you understand yourself, what motivates and acts as the momentum behind our decisions it becomes easier to make informed choices and make those changes which will allow us to create the life we truly aspire to.

Consider your needs and understand what drives you and you will have taken the first steps towards "creating a life you love"!

Gina Gardiner
Helping you create a life you love!

Recovering Workaholics
Tel in the UK: 01708 703 959
Tel International: +44 1708 703 959
Email: gina@recoveringworkaholics.com


Part 2 - Recommended Read [Back to Top]

"Believe You Can" by Clive Gott

This self help book looks at the following important subjects in an amusing and accessible way.

  • Developing and maintaining a high self esteem.
  • Maintaining a positive attitude.
  • Developing an unshakable self confidence.
  • Empowering beliefs and sustaining personal satisfaction

Clive Gott is a Yorkshireman born and bred. His life story includes changing from a grossly overweight fire fighter to Ironman tri-athelete.


Part 3 - Products and Special Offers! [Back to Top]

The three new CDs that we mentioned last month are now availabe to buy from www.recoveringworkaholics.com/cds.php. We we have produced them especially for you to tackle the most common problems that seem to affect many of our members. They are available either as CDs or as downloadable MP3 files.


Relaxation CD 1  A Spanish Theme

Relaxation CD 1 - A Spanish Theme
PRICE: £10.00

Order CD
Order CD Online

Download MP3
Download MP3 Online Now

Relaxation CD 1 - A Spanish Theme

Take time out of your busy and stressful day to relax.

True relaxation is known to reduce stress levels, lower blood pressure, clear the mind and leave you feeling alert, refreshed and ready to tackle the rest of your day with renewed energy and vigor.

"A Spanish Theme" uses a mixture of guided imagery and deep breathing exercises to take you on an intensely relaxing journey.

Stress is sited as the cause of over 500,000 days of absence a year in the UK alone. It represents a huge cost in both economic and personal terms. In order to deal with it we must first understand what it is and what causes it.

Where stress is detrimental people are often in situations where they feel they have little control. Sustained exposure to such negative situations can have serious implications for the health and well being of the individual and ultimately for the organization as a whole

Relaxation is a powerful tool to combat stress. Learning to take time out, to truly relax has been proven to lower blood pressure, improve mental acuity and reduce stress.

Our Relaxation Tape with a Spanish theme is the first in a series of relaxation tapes created by Gina Gardiner associates.

Using visualization, guided imagery and deep breathing exercises take time out of your hectic day to unwind, de-stress and relax!


Beat Insomnia CD

Beat Insomnia CD - Retrain Your Sleep Pattern
PRICE: £10.00

Order CD
Order CD Online

Download MP3
Download MP3 Online Now

Beat Insomnia CD - Retrain Your Sleep Pattern Without Drugs

Sleep is vital to our health and sense of wellbeing.  We need it as much as we need food and water and the air we breathe.  It is during sleep that the body rests and repairs itself.  Good quality sleep leaves us feeling refreshed, re-energized and ready to face the new day. 

Insomnia affects most people at some time during their lives.  For many it is a passing phase caused because of a stressful event in their lives.  For chronic sufferers it becomes a way of life.  Although it is not life-threatening it can and does threaten the quality of life for many sufferers leaving them frustrated, exhausted and feeling low.

"Beat Insomnia" uses deep trance techniques to help you retrain your sleep pattern without drugs.

Use "Beat Insomnia" to get a great nights sleep and make Insomnia a thing of the past.


Confidence Building CD - Creating the Confident You

Confidence Building CD - Creating the Confident You
PRICE: £10.00

Order CD
Order CD Online

Download MP3
Download MP3 Online Now

Confidence Building CD - Creating the Confident You

We all feel less confident in certain situations. This CD is designed to help you feel confident in any situation. It uses tried and tested NLP techniques to help you develop the confidence you need to tackle new social situations or when gicing an important presentation or interview.

  • How often do you wish you felt more confident? 
  • Do you worry about social events or standing up to talk in front of work colleagues?
  • Would you like to live your life feeling that you are in control?
  • Do you have butterflies in your stomach that feel as if they are wearing hobnailed boots when you have to go to an interview or a meeting?
  • Is the voice in your head telling you - you cant do it?

Developing confidence is about much more than learning to do an activity better.

It is about changing how we feel about ourselves and dealing with our thoughts and beliefs.  It is about facing the things we fear and being curious about why we fear them.

Use "Creating the Confident You" to learn to push through the fear and create a world of limitless possibilities  one where you are in control of your own destiny.


We expect the following titles to be available later in the year.

  • Relaxation CD 2 - A Country Theme
  • Relaxation CD 3 - Sky

For any further information or advice about CDs contact info@recoveringworkaholics.com or phone 01708 703959


Part 4 - Feature Article
Things that drive us - Certainty, Variety, Significance, Connection, Growth and Contribution
[Back to Top]

There are many different theories about what motivates us. In NLP terms (Neuro Linguistic Programming) the universal drivers are pain and pleasure. Some people will be motivated by pleasure – they will be drawn towards those things which give them a sense of pleasure and satisfaction. Others will be driven by avoiding pain. Decisions will lead them away from those things which distress and hurt them emotionally.

Of course there are times when everyone will identify decisions based on both but without exception we will favour one over another. It is important to realize that it is not about one being better or worse they are just different.
There are then a variety of other things which drive and motivate us to be who we are. Choices are made often at an entirely sub-conscious level which has a significant impact on the life style.

In this newsletter I am going to look at the theory supported by Anthony Robbins as I believe it makes a great deal of sense.

He describes six different human needs. According to his theory everyone will have two dominant needs and will need all of the first four to some extent.

Let’s have a look at each in turn:

CERTAINTY

The need for certainty is powerful. People who favour this need often show great determination, courage and resolve. They need to know that things will be certain, that they have some sense of control even if it means putting up with things which are less than perfect.

UNCERTAINTY or VARIETY

Those who are driven by uncertainty crave adventure and variety. They love change and will often change things which are working well simply to get the buzz it creates. They are curious and often playful and adventurous. You will find explorers and extreme sports people at its most extreme edge.

SIGNIFICANCE

People who are driven to succeed, attainment and success will be high on their list of personal values. They get a sense of self by doing things for others and being needed. They will push the boundaries to make a difference and to be seen as the one who has made a difference.

CONNECTION

Love is the most powerful of the range of connection and the thing which most people long for deep down. Connection of friends, family, work colleagues, acquaintances are all important to those who are driven for connection. Connections to a higher force or to nature are also important to some people who are driven by this need.

The last two needs may be present but not always. These are:

GROWTH

There are many who wish to grow and develop personally or constantly work on the growth of others. Learning intellectually, physically, emotionally and / or spiritually is all part of growth.

CONTRIBUTION

This can be contribution to one’s own development or that of others. It can be at the level of wanting to surprise or spoil the family or that of making an ongoing significant contribution to others through personal contact or charitable works to raise money to help others.

*****

Everyone favours two out of the first four. Interestingly of those I have worked with, workaholics commonly favour certainty and significance. When I speak to clients they will often use phrases such as “I must succeed, failure is not an option” “I like to be in control”

When you talk further to them about the life they would aspire to they will identify love as being most important to them. Of course some of them have created loving, stable relationships, yet many others dream of being in such a relationship but have failed to either create or sustain one.

When I examined why that is, I discovered that they have spent a significant amount of energy on underpinning certainty and significance in their lives. This has left little time and energy to find and sustain true love. Moreover I found that they have concentrated on the area of their lives where they feel most comfortable and that is around achievement and success.

Unpick things even more and I often find that there is a profound belief that they are either unworthy or unable to be loved. They are driven to succeed so that they feel better about themselves and more worthy of being loved by others.

The same people often have great connection with others on a large scale, lots of friends and positive relationships with work colleagues. This means that the pain caused by the potential loss of the love of someone special is to some extent softened. The end result is that they live their lives dreaming of love but not quite uncomfortable enough because of the high levels of connection to make a radical change. Work takes on a disproportionate significance; there is no time or energy left to look for and to support a loving passionate relationship. They have become a workaholic.

******

Consider your own needs. What drives you?

Are you someone who likes to know what is what, you like to have routine and ‘or feel in control or certain how things stand. Do you put up with things which are negative rather than rock the boat? Do you crave comfort and wish to avoid pain? If you answer yes then you look for certainty.

Are you an adrenalin junky, do you run from commitment, or end relationships which appear to be getting too intense? Do you love new things but quickly lose interest once you have mastered the skills? Are you driven by uncertainty?

Do you want to be noticed? Do you feel the need to succeed to make up for a perceived failure in early life (failed 11+ or a school exam for example)? Do you feel at you best when you are doing things for others? Is significance a need for you?

Do you want to be loved? Are your relationships in life offering love or connection or both? How important are they too you? What do you really want out of connection?

If you have a perfect life the things which drive you are obviously working well for you. If you feel a yearning for something different it is possible that the basic needs which drive you are not working at the optimum level for you. You can choose to change your needs – you might find it useful to work with a coach to do so. If you would like a free 30 minute coaching session to explore how your basic needs are driving your life contact me on info@recoveringworkaholics.com

 


Part 5 - Media Interest [Back to Top]

The media continues to report of how work can negatively impact on health and wellbeing. ITV have been in contact asking for volunteers to be on a life changing opportunity.

They will take a group of people away from the pressures of daily life to look at what they really want from life.

Experts will be on hand to provide help and support to help individuals make the changes needed.


Part 6 - organizations [Back to Top]

Managers have a responsibility to create the right culture for work-life balance. All too often there is an underlying culture that those who are on site longest are recognized for being somehow better and more productive. Yet being on site does not necessarily equate to producing the best, most productive and creative work. Team members model their behaviours on their bosses. If they work long hours driving themselves beyond what is healthy and desirable they too are likely to suffer stress and the medical conditions which have long been associated with poor work practices.

Everyone will have times when they need to burn the candle at both ends to deliver within tight deadlines or to get a new project underway. That in itself can add to the buzz when working on something which is interesting and worthwhile.

It is when that pressure becomes unrelenting and the norm that it is destructive of health, wellbeing and in the medium to long term of productivity in the work place.

Each member of staff represents an investment for your organization. The cost of advertising and appointment, of induction and training to ensure that your staff is well equipped to deliver is considerable. Yet all too often that investment is wasted when staff crumbles under the pressure suffering stress and burn out. That investment could be productive for the long term if there was a more reasoned approach to creating a great work life balance.

We are currently developing a course for senior managers this combines a one day course with a series of three coaching sessions. The focus is on managers managing their personal work life balance. There is no suggestion that they need to be workaholics indeed it is designed to ensure that they create a life where they work hard and live well. By modeling good practice they will in turn promote a healthy work life balance for their team. If you world like to know more please contact us through info@recoveringworkaholics.com or through info@graduatesolutions.com from mid April 07


Part 7- Support For Partners Of Workaholics [Back to Top]

There is now a monthly Newsletter designed for the partners of Workaholics. This can be accessed by going to www.recoveringworkaholics.com/partners.php.


Your feedback is greatly appreciated.

If there are any topics you would like covered in future issues please let me know on info@recoveringworkaholics.com or complete the feeedback form at www.recoveringworkaholics.com/enquiryform.php.

What do you think?

Warmest wishes,
Gina Gardiner

********

Creating a good work life balance is vital for long term
health, wellbeing and happiness.

If you would like support to achieve this, visit
www.recoveringworkaholics.com

For any further information or to discuss your coaching needs contact info@recoveringworkaholics.com or phone 01708 703959


Gina Gardiner, recognized by "Investors In People" as creating an "innovative and exemplary training programme for emerging and middle managers" and by Ofsted as an “inspirational leader”. Her experience includes that of “Change Management” and in supporting organizational leaders in developing strategic vision and creating a “can do” culture.

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Author : Gina Gardiner

For any further information or advice about Recovering Workaholics contact info@recoveringworkaholics.com or phone 01708 703959